welcome to my world, let's review shall we?

THE CREW:

other brad: recently had his named changed to "hot brad". fine. i see how it is...morgan and sarah can whine about how they're not on here, but then they call him the hot one. Whatever! He's funny in that "i hate most of the world" kind of way, less haha, more i like it when you lose an eye. once thought never to enjoy the company of others, but a recent and minimally scan-da-lous affair with a certain someone he was working closely with proves otherwise...likened quite often to Danny Tanner, "hot brad" enjoys cleaning- that's right ladies...he's cleans and cooks (quite well, of course, the apron isnt so flattering...but the biking pants...hot. seriously.)...recently came shooting out of the closet at 200 mph- dont ask- better yet, do...its hysterical.

josh: quite. sarcastic. harsh. yet lovable all the same...the father figure that still knows how to parrr-tay! my co-judge for just about everything...we heart josh.

jo: bitter and hateful, yet comedic in times of great necessity...recently discovered deep dark secret kept by father, as made known by mother nicknamed Crazy Linda...has two cats that have taken over her life-also plan to take over the world.

sherby (kenzie): dead to me...when she returns to nyu, we'll discuss her.

jaron:the typical jewish prince...no, wait, princess...crazy, but mostly in secret making my complaining about his lack of sanity look completely outrageous...those who know him well believe me. one of last year's green mentors that has dated everyone in the group...and at nyu. has a melodica and is quite proud of a wooden fish he constructed last year in "shop."

alex girl: my baby and first wife. assuming that sometime after she bears my children she will find someone she actually loves and make them very happy (though im not against being together for ever)...a tall blonde amazon woman known for fighting crime...and crying in the prop loan at Tisch...rooming with allie hysterical and also blonde and amazon-like, calls me "jackass" even though deep down inside she is in love with me.

mary tucker: not really my friend [prolly doesnt even remember my name], but i wish...hysterically funny and outrageous providing hours of entertainment for eveyone she meets...typically confused, mary has led parties around central park for the better part of two hours with her fabulous tour guide skills...nice work on the whole "great lawn" vs. "mediocre field" issue!

ellie w: dead to me...when she calls for our date...ha. ***UPDATE: in an outrageously shocking turn of events, Ellie has yet to call.***

heatherly: <-funny cuz her name is WAY too long. lives uptown and rarely come out of her hole except to make her way thru the flocks of tourists to Times Square McDonalds. Favorite sayings (mainly directed at me) include: Shut up. Stop it or ill take it away. I hate you. No, absolutely not. I hate actors. Has joined me on such amazing theatrical trips as "Dracula" after which we wanted our lives back, and "The Adding Machine" which was horrible.  Attends Merrymount Manhattan and gets everything she wants in the theatre "biz"...i hate her. she is dead to me. Can we say Human Comedy?

heidi hamilton: no, she doesnt really go to school here, but you'd swear that she does. haunting my dreams and calling every 10 minutes to complain about her life are her favorite activities. I am singularly unimpressed with her intelligence as I far exceed it. Also, im cuter. currently kind-of-dating jim (who im also cuter than: smirks) a boy from ohio that, against what im sure is better judgement, allowed a small mamal, so far only known as "the marmot," to take up residence on his face.

morgan and sarah: yeah. whatever. so you call him hot brad and still think im going to speak highly of you...get real! the other two mentors who didnt date nearly as many people in the group...however, sarah did manage to kiss one of them (who shall remain nameless) to the great dismay of people with taste everywhere.

scotty: what to say about scotty...i mean, you all know him...or know OF him...recently settled down...thats right...seriously dating someone...when you're done laughing read on...he wont use the term "boyfriend or girlfriend" but to his dismay thats what this is...he's the extremely talented and goodlooking boy that everyone loves and wants to be...except for me...cuz im special in my own ways...three of my teachers call me scotty...stupidly, i mentioned it...now he has trouble fitting his ego out the door...favorite phrase: "oh my god, why dont we ever hang out" my favorite answer: "because scotty, you're too good for all of us" his favorite response: "no, im...oh look, better people!"

jeannine: another member of the home team...she is the keepintouch master...she knows that i'd prolly never call and makes every effort to call as often as she is bored. hysterically funny but i do my best not to laugh. one day plans on marrying craig and his obnoxious crush on her will be fulfilled...one of the very few people that steals my spotlight...yet, its still a struggle, i wont let go that easily.

stephie: Used to tell her she'd be my best friend forever...but I lied. She's my sister!!! Carries a large furry animal on her head that she calls her hair and celebrates St. Stephens Day. Is the only person willing to ruin a family trip to the christmas lights by becoming jewish between the house and the car. PETER PANCAKES! over 300 quotes on file...was my co dance captain for Encore as we planned to take over the world with Extravaganza of Dance!!! coming soon to a theatre near you. knock knock...who's there...not melissa!

tina: mother number two. partner in tictactoe crime during shows when god knows we really should have been paying attention. acting coach turned nazi had me audition for juilliard...for what purpose you might ask? to send her student there? a big fat free trip to new york...i think so! just kidding. dressing room diva partner and taught me everything I know about barging in on DR conversations!  we hate basically the same people and make it very clear. "IM DYING OUT HERE FOLKS!"

the ferri's: how to describe the ferri's...hmmm. well, lets begin with the lamplighter, i am convinced that they are using some kind of mind control or addictive (and possibly illegal substance) to lure you back time and time again as you develop a physiological and psychological dependence on their food...creepy. they are known for hunting and gathering, mostly along the side of the road and at garage sales...or anywhere they possibly can gather, what is usually deemed, crap. now the breakdown: andy "im dancing on your wood ferri, im lord of the dance on your wood ferri! where is ack! the cat?" katie: she was soooo PEACH! educational enrichment field trips(muahahaha), oh, be nice to your mother i love her! yeah, like we could ever get married, neither of us would ever work!  adam: the quite type...quite the ladies man as of late i am to understand...funny and witty and it seems as tho i make him just a little nervous...like hes waiting for me to be mean or something...odd. mamaferri:the ringleader...in charge of the entire ferri clan, keeping them in their somewhat outrageous order. mr ferri: has anyone really ever seen him? i think not...a woodland ferri that resides in teh gnome glenn out back and pops out only to go to work and cater andrew's parties...which ROCK MY WORLD! shout out for the parties!!!

jamie:  i use antlers in all of my decorating, my what a guyyyyy GASTON! quite possibly the only person better at making Rubes completely insane...concert signs, whistling, and general rauckusness are her favorites! ms newell's favorite student...you make me sick! just kidding! we had some kind of general hatred up until high school then decided to bring our genius together to take over the planet! most famous for a certain christmas tree dance that almost cost her her life! the video is now online at www.mystripteasedidntwork.com

aarroonneell...keeper of the grapes! we've got pansies...im trying to get the photos put together on your page...look for it soon!